Entertainment

Book Review: Assholes Finish First

by Tucker Max

Hardcover (404 pages)

Gallery Books

The last few decades have seen some primal party characters such as Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, but there is one man that can define how not to party: Tucker Max. Max’s third book confirms his role of being the asshole king. The first book Max wrote has been banned due to excessive… everything.

Assholes Finish First consists of twenty-five true stories that are full of crude humor relating to sex, girls, and alcohol that will leave you completely speechless. The book’s writing can be classified as fratire (fraternity-style satire), which aims specifically for the 18-35 male demographic. It is well-written and easily readable for Max’s readers. Who’s the author? I’ll simply refer you to a statement provided by Max himself.

“My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world.”

Max leaves nothing behind in this book as he explains every scene that he experiences with his friends or a girl that he hooks up with in a detailed manner that is usually disgusting or unbelievable. The great thing is that he lets the person in the event written about put in his or her two cents about his/her side of the story. This helps the book gain more validity due to some extreme actions taken that seems impossible. Not only that, but some visual aids are provided as there are numerous pictures that prove the legality of the events. My favorite picture of all time would have to be the one that Max and his friends took with the cops in Harlem after getting arrested for having a keg in a RV and numerous other violations of the law. The cops themselves wanted a picture, because they were shocked that four white men (originally five, but one escaped) would go into Harlem wrecking things while being completely drunk with no regard whatsoever for their own safety. These two methods that Max uses in his book to ensure the validity of his book are very efficient.

To minimize the lengthiness of his stories, Max breaks up each story into simple paragraphs that gets straight to the point. This is savvy as all minor details are ignored, and thus the stories become more enjoyable. This can be an entertaining book if you do not take things personally. For you to determine whether to read this or not, people’s reactions to this book may be the deciding factor in your decision.

“We protest everything about Tucker Max and what he stands for.”

“People who like Tucker Max: Douchebags and Baby Rapists.”

“I am a happily married mother of three wonderful young sons. One day I will ask them, ‘Sons, what do you want to be when you grow up?’ The first will answer, ‘an astronaut.’ The second will answer, ‘the president.’ The third will look me in the eyes and confidently say, ‘Tucker Max.’ He’ll be my favorite son.”

It’s a must-read book, for its outrageously entertaining immorality and sexual debauchery is too awesome to miss out on — and be sure to leave your feelings behind when reading Assholes Finish First.